Sunday, March 18, 2007

Conversation with a conservative......(sort of)

Simply Left Behind gives us a totally fictional account of a conversation with a conservative which is eerily reminiscent of conversations we've all had with the kool-aid kids..... Here's a snippet to whet your appetite:

An object lesson, forwarded to me by one of the ten smartest men in America (and a liberal):
Liberal: The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: No, it doesn’t.

Liberal: Yes, it does. The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: What about Guam? What about that Guam, huh? Or theVirgin Islands?

Liberal: Those are territories, not states. The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: Oh, so you’re saying those don’t count?

Liberal: Yes.

Conservative: Oh, so the people there don’t count? They’re not good enough, huh? I thought you liberals wanted everybody to be counted.

Liberal: No, I said the territories don’t count as states. The USA has fifty states.

Conservative: You’re really something, you know that? You liberals are always going on about how all of us conservatives are racists, how we don’t care about anybody but people who look like us. But you don’t even want to count the blacks who live in Guam as Americans.

Along those same lines, Sadly, No gives Conservatives wit:

You know, the Right’s successful campaign of inventing their public image as heartland populists while portraying the Left as sissified elitists is one of the most remarkable achievements in all of modern propaganda. It’d be like my goofy white ass convincing y’all that I’m really a beautiful black lesbian lawyer named Foxy Bradrocket. It’d be like Dan Riehl convincing y’all that his parents now allow him to use utensils that don’t have rubber safety tips at the end of them. It’d be like Ann Coulter convincing you that her totally enormous Adam’s apple really isn’t a malevolent leprechaun that lives inside her throat and tells her to call people “faggots.” It’d be like Jamil Hussein and Daffyd ab Hugh convincing you that the giant sandwich they found outside that burned and bombed mosque is really a… no, f**k it, I will simply not go there.
The point is, it’s an amazing feat. They have waged a brilliant information war that has convinced millions of people to believe precisely the opposite of what is true. At some point, you just have to tip your hat.

Some great "snark" from Alicublog:

TORTURED LOGIC. After years in U.S. custody, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has confessed to being the "mastermind" of 31 terrorists attacks from 9/11 to the mysterious death of your pet schnauzer.

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