WARNING! SATIRE FOLLOWS

Editor:

I was strongly opposed to Senator Dave Zein’s newest incarnation of the Concealed Carry Law until events just this very week convinced me that Zein is probably right. Let me explain.

The first thing that happened to convince me was at the grocery store. There I was in the “Express Lane” which is clearly market “15 Items or Less”, and sure enough, the lady in front of me had at least 20 items. I politely asked her to go to another line and she told me to do the dame thing to myself that Dick Cheney told Patrick Leahy to do. Well! If I had been allowed to carry a gun, she wouldn’t have been so snippety!

Then, on Central Avenue, I saw a guy in a pickup truck make an illegal left turn. If I had a gun on me I could have pursued this wanton lawbreaking individual and held him for the police. But, alas, I’m not yet allowed to carry a gun.

But the most important thing happened at the Clinic. I think I saw a terrorist cleverly disguised in a lab coat. He looked to be of Middle-eastern descent or something like that but it was obvious that he wasn’t from around here. He had a name plate and badge that he got from who knows where that said “Doctor” so-and-so and he looked like he had access to sensitive places at the clinic. He could have been a terrorist and if I had a gun I could have detained him until Homeland security could question him. Hey. We’ve all got to do our part because you never know how many terrorists are lurking in Spencer, Auburndale, Stratford or Marshfield.

So you see, I think Zein is onto something.