Thursday, September 13, 2007

The "Onion" reports on General Petraeus

This was just too good to pass up....Our own, Wisconsin-home-grown Onion did their own analysis of General Petraeus' report to Congress. Here's the linky-thing....and the article:

Gen. David Petraeus gave his report on the effectiveness of the troop surge in Iraq to Congress Monday. Here are some of the most significant points:

  • Title Page, Acknowledgments, Introduction, Results, Conclusion, Appendix

  • Iraqi government officials still being assassinated, but just barely

  • Most U.S. soldiers can be relied upon to wake up on time

  • The six guys that Cameroon sent have been awesome

  • Due to overly negative review, footnote on every page stressing Patraeus' support of U.S. troops

    Two of the 18 political and security benchmarks have been met: Birthday parties for all Iraqi parliamentarians are in place, and nobody died at 3:19 a.m. on July 22

  • By weight, Americans are now the country's majority
    What a wild ride it's been

No comments: